House chores can get really tiring, especially when someone has to clean up alone after hosting a lot of people. Holly, a Bright Side reader, is feeling frustrated because she’s overwhelmed with work after her in-laws visit on Sundays. Her husband isn’t supporting her either, so she asked us for advice.
Yes, give him the job of clearing up after his family, then the following week let him cook it as well. You'll come home to the washing up, but order in a takeaway for yourself and tell him you aren't cooking again in a messy kitchen. If he want his family to come he can do the work. His invitation, his labour.
Thanks for sharing your story with us, Holly! We’ve prepared some tips that we hope can be useful.
Initiate a calm and open conversation with your husband and his family members. Express your feelings about the situation and the burden you feel after their visits. Acknowledge their past help in purchasing the house, but emphasize that the current issue revolves around the upkeep and cleanliness of the home.
Clearly outline what assistance or contributions you expect from them, whether it’s helping with cleaning, bringing prepared dishes, or even contributing financially to hire cleaning services.
Propose a rotation system where different family members take turns hosting Sunday lunches. This way, the burden of cleaning and hosting duties is distributed among all family members, ensuring that no one feels overwhelmed or taken advantage of.
Suggest that each host takes responsibility for the cleanliness of their own home before and after the gathering, fostering a sense of shared responsibility and fairness among the family.
If direct communication and negotiation with your husband and his family prove challenging, consider seeking external support from a mediator or counselor. A neutral third party can help facilitate productive discussions and assist in finding a mutually agreeable solution to the issue.
Additionally, discussing your feelings and concerns with a professional can provide you with valuable insights and strategies for navigating family dynamics and resolving conflicts effectively.
Prioritize your own well-being by implementing self-care practices. Recognize that you have the right to set limits on what you are willing to tolerate in your own home, regardless of familial expectations or obligations.
Consider scheduling regular activities for yourself, whether it’s taking a relaxing bath, going for a walk, or spending time on hobbies that bring you joy. Remember that self-care is not selfish, but rather necessary for maintaining your overall well-being and happiness.
Navigating dynamics with in-laws can be challenging. Nadine, another Bright Side reader, recently sought advice after discovering that her in-laws invited the whole family for dinner but excluded her kids. Read her full story here.
Because your a girl also clean my room by 5
