I Refuse to Take Care of My Sick Brother—I’m Not His Mom

I know this might sound cold, but I’m done being the responsible one. I’m the oldest daughter in my family, and that apparently means I have to fix everything. My parents, my sister, my brother, if anyone messes up, it somehow becomes my problem. But for once, just ONCE, I chose myself, and now I’m not only the family villain, they’ve also ruined my life.

My brother, 22, is the youngest and the most spoiled person I know. He never helped around the house, barely studied, and my parents always made excuses for him. Meanwhile, I worked part-time jobs in school, helped with bills, and even gave up moving out initially just so my family could stay afloat.

They’ve always made terrible financial decisions, and I’ve suffered the most, trying to fix everything. I have a middle sister, who got tired of all of it. She cut contact years ago, saying she was done being the family’s backup plan. At the time, I thought she was selfish for leaving. But now? I understand her completely.

When I started earning a stable income, my parents began leaning on me for everything. Pitch in for rent, groceries, my brother’s college fees, even his random “emergencies.” They said, “You’re the responsible one, we know you’ll help.” And stupidly, I always did without getting any appreciation in return, while my brother continued relying on them for free.

Tired of it all, I finally moved out. But that didn’t change anything; my family burden stayed the same as my parents keep saying that since they spent money on my schooling, college, medication etc., I’m supposed to take care of them now.

Recently, my brother got seriously sick and was hospitalized. Not from bad luck, but because he ignored every bit of advice anyone gave him. He partied often, ate junk, never slept on time, and lived like he’d never have to face consequences. Now the medical bills are piling up, and my parents have no money left.

My mom called me crying and begging. She said, “He’s your brother, we can’t afford the bills, please help. He’s still young and learning the ways of the world slowly.” I love my family, but this time I just couldn’t.

I told her politely that I couldn’t pay anymore, that I needed to think about my own life for once, I’m done cleaning their messes, and my very adult brother needs to grow up. She went quiet, then simply said, “Okay,” and hung up.

I thought that was the end of it.

The next day, I came home from work and froze when I found an envelope on my doorstep. It was a legal notice. I opened it, and my hands started shaking.

My parents had officially removed me from their inheritance. The letter stated that everything: the house, savings, even a piece of land they owned, would now go entirely to my brother. Not a penny to me.

I called my mom, and she didn’t even deny it. She said, “We had to take care of your brother’s health and his future. You’re independent, you’ll be fine.” That’s when it hit me, they never saw me as their daughter, just their safety net. I cried that night, not because of the money, but because I finally realized what my place in the family was.

I wasn’t loved for who I was, just for what I could provide. I’m done being the dependable one. I’m done being the backup parent. I refuse to take care of my brother, because I’m not his mom, and apparently, I’m not even their daughter anymore.

Thanks for listening to me. I really needed to vent.

Sometimes, being kind is the answer to all the questions: 12 Stories That Prove Being Kind Is Not Weakness but a Power Move