Leaving your children with strangers is easier said than done. It can always end in disaster. In this story, Paula finds herself having to convince her son that her babysitting while he was out on vacation with his wife is better. But instead, he chose a nanny for the job.
Dear Bright Side,
I’m a retired widow with a son. He got married and had a daughter, Emily, whom I love so very much. I enjoy weekly visits, every Saturday morning, just to play with Emily. One day, my son and daughter-in-law wanted to go out for a couple’s vacation. I insisted that I stay with Emily, but my DIL said she’s hired a nanny whom she trusted. I didn’t like the idea of leaving my granddaughter with a stranger, but didn’t say anything.
When they left, I decided to come for a surprise visit the next day. What I saw next horrified me. The so-called trusted nanny was in the kitchen making a huge mess. That wasn’t the only mess. The whole house looked like it had been flipped over. I yelled at her, “Where is Emily?!? She calmly said that she as sleeping in her room. I was furious and demanded that the nanny leave.
But she looked at me and refused. She said, “My boss is the only one that can fire me, you’re not her.” My blood was boiling. So, I threatened to call the police and only then did she leave. When my son and his wife came back they were shocked to find me caring for Emily with no nanny in sight. When I told them about everything that happened, my DIL stormed out angrily to call the nanny back.
My husband asked me to leave. They went radio silent for a week, and all this time I was worried that they’d bring back that wretched nanny. Should I visit them again?
Paula O.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Paula. You had every right to react this way after seeing your granddaughter left alone and in a wrecked house. The sheer recklessness of the nanny would make anyone in your position angry. Plus, the audacity of her response triggered the escalated response.
Your son and his wife made a plan they thought was safe. To them, your surprise visit might have felt like you were checking up on them and didn’t trust their judgment as parents. When you kicked out the nanny they hired, it probably felt like you overstepped, even though your intentions were 100% pure.
Seriously. MIL out of line. First off "wrecked house" is a matter of opinion. Second, the child was not "alone". She was asleep in a bedroom. Third, MIL is not the nanny's boss. I would have said go ahead and call the police. Radio silence is going to result in no contact eventually and that means no grandma.
You’ll want to give them time before reaching out. Maybe wait another week. Then, apologize for how you reacted, not why you did what you did. You could say, “I am sorry I overstepped and took matters into my own hands. I should have called you first instead of kicking her out myself.”
Don’t feel bad for trying to protect your granddaughter. Trusting your gut is usually the right call in urgent situations like these. Just look at how these people saved their lives by trusting their gut feelings.
